On Saturday I got a letter from a guy I dated briefly some 18 months ago. Of the people I dated in the past two years--this, was the last guy I thought I'd hear from again.
The letter came in a simple white letter-size envelope. My address and his neatly printed on it. The stamp affixed carefully exactly at the corner--two millimeters from the edge. I tear the side of the envelope and fish for the letter. It's a one pager. Printed and then signed by hand. He wants me to know he was thinking of me. He saw on Linkedin that I had changed jobs and wanted to congratulate me. He would have congratulated me earlier but he wanted to make sure I was first settled in my new position so he waited. And how am I doing, he wants to know. He understands I thought it was best we didn't stay in touch, definitely not after those few times he tried, and he understands I think that he had crossed many lines, but maybe he could explain--even though I said there's no need and that all was forgiven--just once more, what was going on in his life back then. Maybe then we could talk again? It's not that he expects to hear back, but he would certainly like to, if I desire, stay in touch somehow. If we could be friends, and he could come to dinner again, and explain.
I fold the letter and put it back in the envelope. Of all the people who could do some explaining--he's the one who ends up writing. The one guy who turned out to be complete nut case--who, when I returned from a 2 week business trip (during which I would set an alarm clock so that I could call him exactly at 9pm his time, after his kids went to sleep), told me that he felt abandoned and rejected while I was away and that his therapist (whom he saw twice a week) suggested we take time apart. And that was, mind you, after we had been dating for maybe 6 weeks. Max.
I love the written word. I love good letters and men who are able to reflect. I love men who say "I'm a mess. I need to change." Or when they say "will you help?" I love them even more when they are able to say "I made a mistake." I still keep love notes and scribbles from each and every ex because it helps me remember that they were good guys on a journey like me.
And so I'm take this letter as a symbol--a sign--that life's other mysteries are about to be solved. And if they're to be solved with a written word--let it be it. I'm ready. Bring it on.
Yours truly,
Datingirl
