I woke up this morning with an achy throat. Perhaps from all those things unsaid...or from the scream that has been strapped to my throat for the last 24 hours, refusing to sound its pitch. There was no way I was going to the Cafe to read my morning paper today. I looked at my cellphone- at the Missed Call prompt with Mr. CEO's name on it. I had once erased his number from my phone so that I won't be tempted to call him in a moment of drink-and-dial weakness. Now I need it there to know not to answer his calls.
I pushed EmergenC and Zinc down my throat- instead of the usual 50mg pills, I had a new bottle with 15mg capsule. I took four and must have over-dozed because as I was pushing my cart down the vegetable isle at WholePaycheck, I was punched by serious nausea. My heart was beating fast and I felt weak. For a moment I panicked: I'm having one of those silent-killer heart-attacks! No. It's the Zinc, I reassured myself. Now breathe.
I was planning on my own Sunday feast today: LaBrea bakery whole-wheat loaf- still warm from the baking, thin layer of avocado, lightly drizzled lemon juice, smoked salmon layered over, and finally- one over-medium organic egg (with one organic egg-white) garnished with chopped parsley. Coffee, of course. And the paper. I had all the ingredients (and many more) piled high in my cart. But when I took one last look at the ready-made food bins, I realized- wait! WholePaycheck also makes breakfast for the taking! True, it looked like the Marriott's morning buffet: scrambled eggs, cubed potatoes, bacon, hot links...but it still looked good.
I sat downstairs by Peet's and ate my breakfast. It tasted good: salty and hearty, crunchy and soft. Frederick called- where was I? I hadn't told him I wasn't going to the cafe this morning. I apologized. He understood.
On the drive back home I opened the sunroof- it is another absolutely stunning day in San Francisco. As the light at Filmore changed to green, I sped forward and without much thinking, released that scream that has been stuck to my throat. Ahhhhhhhh! I screamed. Ahhhhhh!. And then I laughed. And looked in the mirror. "You're doing good," I told the smiling eyes, "you're doing real good."
I shifted to third gear and turned on the volume:
"(She did me wrong)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm Need)
But she aint messin wit no broke niggaz
(She did me wrong)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm need)
but she aint messin wit no broke niggaz
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head."
Have a good Sunday, everyone...
Yours truly,
Datingirl
