I've missed my b-sides. These captured moments that can't be bucketed into one category or another. Like letting someone else drive while I look out the window at the purple skies laying their fatherly hands on the yellow ground...or like getting ready to go on extended business travel- not really knowing what awaits me at each stop and whether I'll be able to reach the finish line. A lot is on this line.
And yet, today I'm comfortable and centered. Today is still Saturday.
I remember that I am bothered by the fact that I do not have the required observational discipline to report regularly on Dateology. Or to write in general. I remember that I am concerned that I can't stay the course; that I lose interest. Or that I'm afraid to be locked down to any one thing and hence, once I "get it," I look for the next thing. It's a survival need embedded in me from generations past. I have a galloping, rushing, wild horse inside of me. A terrified rabbit. A jittery doe. You may not understand; and I cannot, will not, explain more.
Today, is a b-side day.
My b-sides are moments of imperfections. Of laughter. Of brilliance. Of silence. They are glitter off my path- dotting my keyboard with fingers' rap.
Today, I am b-siding. No category. No definition. No purpose. Today I am resting at the line between heaven and earth, looking outside my window at the moving yellow line, the frantic shoulders, the near-static horizon. I am sitting still at 80 miles per hour- temple to the cold glass, fingers curled at my lips- chin cradled- elbow on a knee.
Tomorrow is a new day. But it doesn't exist today. Today is a b-side day- and will always be this way.
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